By Bill Foley
’Tis the season for overreactions as we head into Week 2 of the NFL season.
Listening to talk radio or watching ESPN is more annoying this week than at any other time of the year. Every team that won last week will go 16-0, and every team that lost will go 0-16.
Of course, that is not the case, except for the Dolphins. They might not win another game for a couple of years.
The Dolphins look like they are trying to do the opposite of the movie Major League by trying to drive attendance low enough so they could relocate to Cleveland, where they actually care about football.
Cleveland, of course, is looking for a new team after the Browns’ embarrassing performance in a loss to the Titans that had the Dawg Pound longing for the days of Tim Couch.
Fans of the Bears, Falcons, Giants, Buccaneers. Broncos and, especially, the Steelers are in panic mode after one week. Meanwhile, fans of the Raiders, Patriots, 49ers, Cowboys, Chiefs, Eagles, Vikings, Ravens, Titans and Packers are looking for tickets to the Super Bowl.
Just as a reminder, the Buccaneers beat the Saints in the opener a year ago. How’d that work out? Tampa went 5-11, while New Orleans came one horrible call away from going to the Super Bowl.
So, everybody needs to take a page from Aaron Rodgers and relax. That’s right, R-E-L-A-X.
It’s a long season. One loss does not mean you have to cancel your DirecTv subscription, though I did because the company dropped Altitude Sports just before the Sonny Lubick documentary debuted.
Talk about an overreaction.
And speaking of overreaction, last weeks shows that I am the greatest sports prognosticator this side of Jimmy The Greek. I went 11-5 straight up. By the way, I count the tie as a loss, as should the teams who tied.
The 11-5 record marks my best opening week in history, and I picked the victory margin for the Rams and Bills right on the nose.
Of course, I went just 8-8 against that nasty spread. No biggie. My kids don’t want to go to college anyway.
Following are my Week 2 picks. The lines are from ESPN, the Worldwide Leader in Overreactions.
Tampa Bay (plus 6.5) at Carolina
Nobody is going to watch this game.
Panthers by 10
Chicago (plus 2.5) at Denver
Stat of the day No. 1: The Broncos have not lost a Week 2 home game since 1973.
Stat of the day No. 2: I have not stubbed my toe for 87 consecutive Thursdays.
Such oddly specific stats show you that some writers have way to much time on their hands. It also tells you the Bears are on the verge of making history.
Bears by 1
San Francisco (plus 2) at Cincinnati
The 49ers don’t have Jameis Winston throwing them the ball this week.
Bengals by 3
L.A. Chargers (minus 2.5) at Detroit
The Lions tied with the Cardinals last week. That should count as two losses.
Chargers by 10
Minnesota (plus 3) at Green Bay
If there was just a way that both teams could lose this game.
Packers by 11
Indianapolis (plus 3) at Tennessee
Karma will again haunt those booing Colts fans.
Titans by 20
New England (minus 18.5) at Miami
Don’t be scared away by the big point spread. It’s not nearly big enough.
Patriots by 311
Buffalo (minus 1.5) at New York Giants
The Giants were so bad that they made the Cowboys look like Super Bowl contenders.
At least that’s what we assume. Most fans in our neck of the woods couldn’t watch because of a DirecTv dispute with Fox. Not cool.
Williams by 17
Seattle (plus 4.5) at Pittsburgh
Could it be that age and all those sexual assault accusations are finally catching up with Big Ben? We can only hope.
Seahawks by 8
Dallass (minus 5) at Washington
Washington couldn’t hold a 17-0 lead at Philadelphia, so what makes you think they’ll stop the Cowboys?
Oh, the extra ‘S’ is not a typo.
Cowboys by 7
Arizona (plus 13.5) at Baltimore
The Ravens aren’t as good as the Dolphins made them look last week. The same could be said about the Cardinals and Lions.
Ravens by 16
Jacksonville (plus 9) at Houston
The bad news for the Jaguars is Nick Foles has a broken collarbone. The good news is that his replacement, rookie quarterback Gardner Minshew, scored a 42 on the Wonderlic test.
For a point of reference, that is 41 points higher than Brett Favre.
Houston by just 3
Kansas City (minus 7) at Oakland
The Raiders might go to the Super Bowl this year.
Of course, they will need a ticket to watch Patrick Mahomes once they get there. But still. That’s progress.
Chefs by 21
New Orleans (plus 2.5) and Los Angeles Rams
Saints fans will probably sue if their team doesn’t win this game.
Rams by 4
Philadelphia (plus 1.5) at Atlanta
Falcons rookie right guard Chris Lindstrom is being praised for playing nine snaps last week after breaking his leg.
Big deal. In 1984, Jim McMahon suffered a lacerated kidney in a win over the Raiders. Not only did the Punky QB finish the possession, he drank a beer in the shower before going to the hospital.
Eagles by 2
Cleveland (minus 2.5) at New York Jets
I know they are just the Jets, but, really? Cleveland is a road favorite after last week?
Looks like my kids might be able to go to college after all.
Jets by 9