Donald Trump’s golf game is in supreme company

It happened about 15 or 16 years ago on the first tee box at the Highland View Golf Course.

One of my brothers, my dad, my Grandpa Bill and I were waiting to tee off when a guy widely known as a cheater pulled up in his golf cart.

“Hello, gentleman,” they guy said in an exaggerated friendly tone of voice. “Do you mind if I play along with you today?”

My dad, brother and I immediately cringed because we didn’t want to play with the guy because, well, for lack of a better description, the guy is really weird.

My grandpa, though, didn’t hesitate.

“Yes we certainly do mind,” my grandpa said, mimicking the guy’s insincere tenor. “You’re a cheatin’ (S.O.B.) and you’re not playing golf with me.”

The guy didn’t say a word. He just drove his cart back toward the clubhouse, and I almost felt sorry for him.

My grandpa certainly didn’t feel bad because the guy was a cheater at golf, and you shouldn’t have to be nice to people who cheat at golf. The guy cheated in men’s league. He cheated in senior league. He cheated in tournaments.

Sure, there are probably some things worse than cheating at golf. I just can’t think of anything right now. And nothing reveals the despicable true nature of a man more than dishonesty on the links.

That is what worries me about the possibility of a Donald Trump presidency. It’s not The Donald’s disrespect for women, his great wall or his really small hands that bother me. What scares me to death about Jan. 20, 2017 is that we just might have a president who has been labeled by many as a really big golf cheat.

Nobody will take us to a nuclear holocaust faster than a guy who will write down a 3 on the scorecard when he really took a 7.

If one person accuses you of cheating at golf, it could be a mistake. If two people levy the accusations, then we have a serious problem. Trump certainly has that problem and then some.

Here’s just a few of the people who have publicly called out The Donald for cheating at golf: Rick Reilly, Alice Cooper (yes, that Alice Cooper) and Oscar De La Hoya.

When Reilly played with Trump, the writer said the presumptive Republican presidential nominee “took the world’s first gimme chip-in.”

That is an accusation that Trump vehemently denies. But of course he does. That’s what cheaters do. They deny things.

We would give Trump the benefit of the doubt over the world’s second greatest sports columnist if it weren’t for the account of De La Hoya.

Check out this excerpt of De La Hoya talking about his round of golf with Trump from an article in Vice:

The former boxing champion said Trump hit his first ball into the water, hit a second out of bounds, then a third into the water again. His fourth ball then went into the bushes.

“Donald, what he does is he tees off first so we go off to our balls and what do we see but Donald Trump right in the middle of the fairway,” De La Hoya said. “He said, ‘Hey look, I found my first ball.'”

On the next hole, a par-3, De La Hoya said Trump hit into some bushes and again went ahead of the other players in his cart. When the rest of the group got to the green, he said Trump’s ball was 3 feet from the hole.

“And by the way I’m picking it up,” De La Hoya quoted Trump as saying. “It’s a gimme.”

 Of course, we all know guys who have done that. One of my friends in high school once lipped out on a 30-foot birdie putt. He decided he was giving that put to himself because the cup was flawed.

We were playing for skins, too.

Another guy I played golf with a time or two mysteriously found his ball in the cup for an eagle while his playing partners were looking for his ball way out in the rough. Twice. And in tournaments both times.

I would never vote for either one of those guys for president of the golf club, let alone the United States.

Trump’s alleged cheating takes him to the next level. Sure, it might not put him on par with Kim Jong-il, the late supreme leader of North Korea and father of current supreme leader Kim Jong-un. But it puts him in the same league when it comes to the narcissism it takes to be accused of being that big of a cheater.

According to official North Korea state media reports, Kim Jong-il once shot a 38-under-par 34 for 18 holes. That round included an amazing 11 holes-in-one.

In full disclosure, I once had a Kim Jong-il round of golf when I was young. My cousin Melissa and I played together on the par-3 course at the Highland View Golf Course, and we both shot a 3-over-par 30 for nine holes.

That smashed the career best for both of us by at least 20 shots, and nobody believed us. The thing that really got us busted was that we had the exact same score on each hole.

In our defense, we were like 9 years old. And we were not running for president.

Not long after that day, my grandpa had a long talk with me during the drive home from the golf course. He never came out and accused me of being a cheater, but he made it clear that cheating in golf is as bad as it gets.

“Not only do you cheat everybody else,” my grandpa said. “You also cheat yourself.”

From that day on, I counted every shot.

I have no doubt that my grandpa, who died last year, would have never voted for Trump, golf cheat or not. But it is becoming more and more clear that the American people, whose ridiculousness can never be overrated, are going to in November.

In defense of the American electorate, the alternative isn’t the greatest.

I don’t think Hillary Clinton plays golf, but you better believe she would have a caddy killed to turn that tee shot into the water into a hole-in-one if she did.

The bright side is that in Donald Trump the United States will finally have a president who can compete on the course with North Korea, whose leader is a chip off the ol’ block.

Then again, the world might come to an end when one of the leaders inevitably calls the other a cheatin’ S.O.B.

— Bill Foley, who would vote for Trump if it meant just one more round of golf with Grandpa Bill, writes a column that appears on ButteSports.com on Tuesdays. Email him at foley@buttesports.com. Follow him at twitter.com/Foles74.

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