Mel Kiper Jr. (and his like) is destroying the world

Mel Kiper Jr. (and his like) is destroying the world

Most likely, Pat Mengon will continue to cheer for the Chicago Bears when the 2017 season begins in September.

But he appeared to really mean it when he took to Facebook and swore off the team forever during the NFL Draft.

As soon as I got over the shock that Pat was on Facebook, I cried, “Say it ain’t so, Pat. Say it ain’t say.”

Forget about a war with North Korea or Hawaii, Mel Kiper Jr. — and his like — is destroying the world.

Not only is Mel annoying on the television and the internet with his Mock Drafts 1 through 389.0, he has changed the way people talk in this country. Now we talk about things “value picks” and “reaches” for the seven months of the offseason.

Kiper has spawned so many wannabe Kipers on TV, the internet and in newspapers that now people who watch the Super Bowl for the commercials talk like they are experts on the Draft.

Thanks to Kiper, your dental hygienist will say something like, “There’s no way Trubisky is the No. 2 pick. He should have gone early in the second round at best.”

And you can’t even argue with her because she’s got a couple of tools jammed in your mouth.

When a quarterback throws a touchdown pass, a safety makes a big hit or a lineman sacks a quarterback, nobody ever remembers where he was picked.

Nobody — not even Kiper — batted an eye when 198 selections were made during the 2000 Draft before the Patriots picked a skinny quarterback from Michigan named Tom Brady. If Tom Terrific was drafted in the third round instead of the sixth, the GM would have been mocked.

Unlike Kiper, Pat Mengon is a jovial guy who is liked by everyone lucky enough to know him. He is kind, funny and witty. But he is known above all as a Bears fan.

Actually, he is known first for being one of Lou Ann’s boys. Second, though, he is a Bears fan.

In fact, I knew him for years without even knowing his name. I’d refer to him as that Bears fan who is at Jox every Sunday, and everybody knew exactly who I meant.

That’s how I knew Pat. During the late 1980s and early 1990s — before there was such a thing as the Sunday Ticket — I would go to Jox Sports & Spirits in the Copper King Inn with my dad to watch Bears games whenever they weren’t on TV at home.

Pat was there every single time. He always sat at the same table with his pal Ray McLaughlin, a Browns fan, to watch the Bears and every other game in the league.

Like me, Pat lived and died with the Bears. Actually, I think he is partly to blame — or credit — for my unhealthy and potentially family-killing obsession with the Monsters of the Midway.

He was a bad — or maybe a good — influence on me.

So, as you can imagine, I was floored to see Pat giving up on our beloved, yet boneheaded, Bears.

The final straw, like it was for so many disgruntled Bears fans, was the Draft.

Bears fans put up with years of Dave Wannstedt, Jonathan Quinn, Marc Trestman, Chris Conte and the ultimate tease that is Jay Cutler. They lived through two decades of embarrassment that came from playing Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers twice a year.

But now they’re finally putting their foot down on Mitch Trubisky?

The Bears held the No. 3 pick in the first round of the draft, and guys like Kiper were telling us the Bears were going to pick a defensive playmaker like LSU safety Jamal Adams.

Safety is a position that has been a black hole for the Bears for the past decade, and Bears fans had visions of Gary Fencik dancing through their heads as they laid their heads on their orange and navy pillows on the eve of the draft.

Then the unthinkable happened.

The notoriously frugal Bears traded with the 49ers to swap their No. 3 pick for San Francisco’s No. 2 so they could draft Trubisky, a quarterback from North Carolina.

Instead of a quarterback-starved fan base rejoicing at the thought of the team finally picking a quarterback the general manager believes will lead the team to greatness for the next decade, Bears fans were furious.

The same fans who were mad in March when Bears spent money on Mike Glennon — a quarterback they didn’t want — are now yelling that they don’t need a quarterback because they already have Glennon.

When Trubisky took in a Bulls-Celtics playoff game the next night, Chicago fans — those sports geniuses who blame a goat and a young fan trying to catch a foul ball for 108 years of baseball futility — booed their new quarterback.

Bears fans are still mad about the draft. More than a week later, fans are still saying things like, “Oh, I can live with the pick. I just think they gave up too much for it.”

Really? Two third-round picks and one fourth-round pick by a team that notoriously drafts the wrong guy is too much to give up for a potential franchise quarterback? We’re talking about a team that hasn’t had long-term franchise quarterback since Sid Luckman led the Bears to four NFL titles in the 1940s.

The other two teams that traded up to get a QB gave away a first-round pick.

While I’m as skeptical of the Bears as anyone, the team should be credited for identifying a player it really want and then going and getting him.

But Bears fans will tell you that they could have drafted Trubisky with the third pick — or even the third round — like they were privy to the trade talks in the 49ers “war room.”

They’ll tell you that there weren’t any good quarterbacks in the draft, as if they are all professional scouts who studied every college quarterback in the nation in great detail.

While it is a bummer that Adams won’t play for the Bears, Bears fans should at least be intrigued by the selection of a quarterback.

But they’re not. And why is that?

Because of Kiper and people who want to be Kiper.

Now, I don’t know if Trubisky will be any good. Neither do you. Neither does Kiper.

Only time will tell if the Bears were geniuses (doubtful) or morons (as usual), but at least they had the sack to ante up this time.

I looked back at Pat’s Facebook page, and I could no longer find his proclamation about giving up on the Bears. Hopefully that means he reconsidered and said it ain’t so.

Nutty Bears fans like us can’t let Mel Kiper Jr. drive us apart.

— Bill Foley, who never meant it when he swore off the Bears 108 different times over the last four yeaers, writes a column that appears Tuesday on ButteSports.com. Email him at foley@buttesports.com. Follow him at twitter.com/Foles74.

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